The System 499: The Zombie Apocalypse and You
I was walking around London, seeing all the bicycle commuters go by (way to go, UK cyclists!) when this thought occurred to me. Bikes would be really handy for the zombie apocalypse. In movies you always see people with cars that run out of gas or won’t start, or on foot. Bicycles would be a great compromise! You could dodge around all those cars that get left in the road, the trash cans and boxes that wind up in every scene. You’d be quiet (as long as you avoided the bike bell) and with relatively little maintenance. Sure, there’s the thought of the occasional flat or your chain coming loose, but then you wouldn’t be that worse off than being on foot. The bike could even make for a makeshift weapon to give you some distance from a few brain-guzzlers that won’t leave you alone. If not, the U-lock definitely could crack some heads.
Which led me to my next thought: bike messengers would survive the zombie apocalypse. They’re fast, well organized and let’s face it, look like they’ve already survived the apocalypse. I’d love to see a movie about a few bike messengers working to make their way out of the city, all talking on their walkie talkies and using poster tubes to knock some heads. The ones on fixed gear bikes would be the first to go, zombies walk up hills and don’t care if you can “hover” at a red light.
Oh, and I must say! I did a quick bit of research, and I’m not the only one to think of this idea:
- http://onelessindenver.blogspot.com/2010/12/bikes-for-zombie-apocalypse-part-1.html
- http://www.irontowerstudio.com/forum/index.php?topic=1471.0
- http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2011/05/maker-faire-highlights/?pid=1940
June 10th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
just remember, bells attract attention!
June 10th, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Reminds me of the T shirt I bought from Woot not long ago – http://shirt.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=1732…
June 10th, 2011 at 5:09 pm
I'd go for the compromise: small-engine motorcycle.
fuck yeah.
June 10th, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Max Brooks made the exact same observations in The Zombie Survival Guide.
June 10th, 2011 at 5:26 pm
I REALLY need to read that already
June 10th, 2011 at 5:57 pm
I love your thoughts about bicycling. I especially love the last panel.
June 11th, 2011 at 12:45 am
lol, i thought zombieland movie was enough information, except when they use cars to travel around.
June 11th, 2011 at 7:51 am
the TV seriers "The Walking Dead"….
one of the survivors, who is great at finding ways through the city past zombies…
was a pizza delivery boy.
Its not a bike, but it is delivery.
June 11th, 2011 at 1:07 pm
I agree with almost all of this, but if you've seen someone who's good a cycling go up a hill on a fixie, the pace is astounding, I won't go into the mechanics of it in detail, but fixies make a very good choice for hill climbs
June 11th, 2011 at 1:16 pm
That and the main character was using a double barreled shot gun as his main (and only) weapon. Given his double tap rule, he'd have to reload between every single zombie.
June 11th, 2011 at 1:37 pm
The hero protagonist in 28 Days Later was a bicycle messenger, guys.
June 11th, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Aren't we already in a zombie apocalypse?
June 12th, 2011 at 4:41 am
Not to mention that Rick used a horse in a scene…
June 12th, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Good to know you were thinking while in London. Bikes are a good method of escape in many, many instances, even in the case of a tank attack, a bike allows for easy maneuvering between shells.
OK, now you guys get in fit to ride those bicycles against any attacker, at this point, cars, trucks, mopeds, motorcycles, etc.
(I have to mention on one of the sites I checked out, a mention was made that a safe place to hide would be inside a Wal Mart.)
June 12th, 2011 at 7:24 pm
As much as a Wal Mart might appeal; finite resources, likelihood of vagabonds coming to raid the stores would make me cautious of any shopping mall. Plus you'll find them in populated areas, so you'll just end up with a horde surrounding you.
I'd probably nip in and raid for what I need and move on to the countryside, less populated areas would be great. Unless zombie cows came along.
Not that I..think too much about the subject.
June 13th, 2011 at 2:13 am
Good point. A Wal Mart of other store would be a magnet for zombies. So, just procuring what you need and departing quickly, and silently, would be advisable.
I suppose there could be zombie cows, pigs, roosters, etc so I'd be check before making myself comfortable.
June 13th, 2011 at 11:53 am
Oh yes, one of the survivors in World War Z was successful because of his bike!
June 13th, 2011 at 2:05 pm
[...] System: Transportation during the Zombie Apocalypse. Bike messengers would survive the zombie apocalypse. They’re fast, well organized and let’s [...]
June 14th, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Good right up until the point you get the 'I am Legend' zombie variety that are smart enough to figure out ho to use the bikes lying around as well.
June 15th, 2011 at 9:07 am
I don't know if those really count as zombies at all.
June 19th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Nah, they were Vampires in I am Legend. And a bike would only be so useful, no armour, not enough weight to knock over a zombie if it gets in your way… It only takes one to knock you off your bike and then a horde to come down on top of you.
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:59 pm
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November 14th, 2011 at 8:56 pm
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